Slow, steady and graceful

Today was a wonderful day. My husband and I took our boat out onto Biscayne Bay and cruised. The day was absolute perfection: endless blue sky, a few puffy clouds, the water was flat and clear, and the air was fresh.

We headed north towards downtown and enjoyed the skyline for a while, then we headed over to one of our favorite places--a small, quiet harbor on Key Biscayne, with a funky restaurant on the shore. We tied the boat to the seawall and enjoyed our delicious lunch on the porch overlooking the harbor. More perfection.

After lingering over lunch and conversation, we untied the boat and cruised south, enjoying the breeze under the shade of the Bimini top on our boat. Then we spotted them---a pair of dolphins. What a gift! Nothing makes a day on the water for us like an encounter with these gorgeous beings.

It was clear that they wanted to play with us. They moved up to the surface of the still water, and under, over and over, making large, lazy circles around our boat. We cut off the engine, and sat and watched, thanking them out loud for their magical presence.

It was like a meditation, sitting there in the shade on the boat, just being with them for over half an hour. And the message was clear in their repetitive, gorgeously fluid motions. SLOW, STEADY, GRACEFUL.

They were in perfect rhythm with each other. And their pace never varied. In and out, up and down, the perfect curves of their smooth, glistening bodies cutting through the surface of the water---over and over and over and over, in an endless symphony of one movement flowing into the next.

It was mesmerizing and, at the same time, very grounding in its simplicity. No rushing, no hurry, no worry, no flailing about, no trying hard. Just do what you know to do to get things done--slowly, steadily, gracefully.

Life can make us teeter off balance. We can become stressed, concerned, feel pressured about what needs doing, and how much time we have to do it.

They were feeding, no doubt. And their movements remained slow, steady, and graceful. Endlessly.

The effect of their presence and their energy was so calming, nourishing, comforting and reassuring. They seemed to be saying to us: Take it easy. You know what needs to get done. Move slowly and deliberately. Follow your instincts. Keep up a steady flow toward your goal. And be centered enough in yourself and your true nature to allow for true grace. Their ease and economy of movement, and the beauty of their natural flowing physical energies was so entrancing.

Their mystical presence is still with me. And their message means the world to me today since I had found myself feeling a bit pressured by a list of 'to do's' after my computer was down for a few days---as well as some other pressures I was putting on myself. I'm so grateful for the blessing of them in an already perfect day!

Just look at what we attracted!! Not only the sublime experience of being with the two dolphins, but also the gift of clarity about how to proceed. SLOW, STEADY, GRACEFUL. I can do that.

Love and Joy,
Jan

A MAGIC sentence if ever there was one!

I've been thinking lately about self-talk...you know,the things you say to yourself consciously and unconsciously. The words of self-talk shape your daily experience, and determine your reality. That may sound extreme, but there's no way around this truth. Thoughts become words, become things. It's that simple.

What I see in many of my clients and even myself at times, is that the self-talk contains a lot of criticism. Criticism you may not even be aware of. About all kinds of things. Big things,small things, important things, inconsequential things.

The ego is always busy striving for perfection, trying to convince us of our shortcomings and operating out of the idea that criticizing is the way to improve someone. Not helpful, to say the least!

Begin to listen to your self-talk and you'll see what I mean. Listen for the stream of 'you should', 'you shouldn't', 'you did', 'you didn't', 'why aren't you?', 'why are you?' You can fill in your own blanks and ask yourself how it feels, once you become conscious of this kind of self-criticism.

So, I'm offering you this MAGIC sentence. Honestly, if you begin to apply this whenever you hear this self-critical talk going on, it will transform the moment for you. And transforming a moment at a time will lead you to a transformed life.

Here it is:

"Even though I (fill in the blank with the criticism) I deeply and completely love and accept myself."

Here are some examples to help you understand how to use this MAGIC sentence.

• Even though I still haven't met my soul mate, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though my job evaluation (or grades) was not great this time, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though I was cranky with my kids this morning, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though I am not where I think I should be in my spiritual development, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though I don't have as much money as I would like, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though I don't have as many friends as I think I should, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
• Even though I don't love myself as much as I think I should, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. ( I love this one!)

You get the idea. For your Inner Being, hearing that you love and accept yourself NO MATTER WHAT,is what will bring you closer to a healed life, with much more peace and joy.

Try it and see what you think

Love and Joy!
Jan

PS This sentence is taken from an "energy medicine" healing practice called EFT--Emotional Freedom Technique--If you'd like to know more about it go to http://www.emofree.com/

If you would like to do some of this work with me to eliminate a variety of problems, call or email me. jan at everydayjoy.com , 305-273-7736

What are you waiting for?

Did you ever notice how much time you spend waiting? Waiting for the next exciting life event? Waiting to meet that special someone? Waiting to get slimmer? Waiting to make more money? Waiting to have a better reason to be happy. It goes on and on and on, doesn't it?

Everyone of us buys into the illusion of time sometimes. I guess it's just human nature. But it's so important to be reminded that all there is, is NOW! That's it. NOW. and another NOW, and another and another. A delightfully eternal stream of NOW moments.

Here's the thing---if you are waiting, you are not in this NOW moment. The 'standing around tapping your foot waiting' takes you out of the NOW. And once it's gone, it's gone. No getting it back. And I don't know about you, but I want ALL of mine.

So what are you waiting for --to give yourself permission to know that NOW is enough? That it's all enough. That YOU are enough.

So much of my work with clients, and my writing is about this. Remembering time after time that you are enough. I am enough. Without changing a thing. Without doing a thing. Without the new diet, the new job, the new clothes, the improved relationship, the better evaluation, etc., etc., etc.

It's actually pretty sad when you look at how convinced you are of your 'not enoughness'. I think it's a modern day malady. And WHAT IF all along, you are not only enough, you are spectacular? What if you are are amazing? What if you are a miracle!? A total miracle!

So how about today, you start reminding yourself of that. Your spirit will clap its hands in delight each time it hears you say,'hey there, just wanted to tell you that you are ENOUGH, and I LOVE you. Right here. Right NOW!"

And believe me when I tell you that even if it sounds like bunch of silliness at first...in time, perhaps when you least expect it, you will take it in, and it will change your life. I promise.

It's the simplest of things that make the most profound difference. This is one of them.

Ask me how I know. The fact is, I just remembered it myself!!

And the thing is, I don't care how many times I lose my way along my path, I know that I can find my way home faster and faster. And I admit tht I'm sacredly selfish about my NOW. I want it to embrace and live it all. NOW.

If I can keep finding my way back to NOW, so can you.

How about it? What do you think might change if you made this a priority in your life?

Love and Peace,
Jan

I screwed up! Now what do I do???

That's the phone call I got from a client the other day. He did something he considered screwing up, and was beating up on himself pretty badly for it. When's the last time YOU did that?

If you're human, you 'screw up' every single day. and it was my job as his spiritual coach to help him to see, accept and even, cherish his humanity. We set such high--sometimes impossible--standards for ourselves, and then when we don't meet them, we feel like we've failed. Not so.

One of my greatest spiritual teachers told me there is no such thing as failure, there is only learning taking place. So the question is 'What can I learn from this?' That's it. And then we move on.

No punishment, no berating ourselves, no slumping into giving up. No! Only moving on with the new awareness the lesson gave us.

While I was walking today in the beautiful, sunny, breezy morning, I was thinking about my own 'screw ups'. And I was laughing as I thought to myself well, if I never 'screwed up', I wouldn't be carrying around this extra weight, or ever argue with anyone, or have a judgemental thought, or..... Yeah, right!

Then I thought about the times that real change has occurred for me, for my clients---that moment when the thing you've been reaching for and 'failing' at, finally just clicks into place. And you're there.

And the phrase that came to me is: It's time!

That's it, it's simply time. So when we 'fail' to get there time after time after time, it's not failure at all. We're in the process of getting ready. This is so important that I'm going to say it again...

WE'RE IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING READY...UNTIL WE ARE FINALLY READY!

The Law of Attaction tell us that until we are aligned with something, we cannot attract it. So the 'getting ready' is about tweaking and tweaking and tweaking our alignment with that thing we want until we are so perfectly aligned with it that IT CAN'T NOT HAPPEN. It's the next logical step, and at that point it feels like it just sort of falls into place. Effortlessly. We're there.

When we can look at our life experience this way, as a living, breathing, positive process toward growth and change, then we can soften to our humanity and love ourselves in this very moment. Right now. Unconditionally.

We can pat ourselves on the back for persevering, we can count our past successes, and we can envision a wonderful future full of whatever it is we want.

We deserve all that. and more!

Love and Peace to you,
Jan

Your very own "Magellan"

Some of you may have a navigational system in your car. I have one in mine. They're pretty amazing, aren't they? No matter where you're headed they give you guidance about how to get there. You make a wrong turn and they're relentless in telling you what to do to get back on track. If you listen and take Magellan's advice, you will definitely get to your destination. I like it!

What you may not realize is that every one of us is equipped with our very own personal Magellan. I call it your Inner Guidance--"IG" for short. Your IG works in your life just like the one in your car. When you know what you want--where you are headed--it gives you very good directions on how to get there.

The directions given by your personal IG aren't about roads, streets, corners, etc. No. The directions have to do with the roadmap of your emotions--your feelings. It's actually pretty simple---very good design. When you feel 'good' you are on the right course toward what you want. When you feel 'bad' you have strayed off course, made a wrong turn, and might even be getting lost. You may be going in the opposite direction from what you want. It's true.

Of course. there are lots of variations of 'feeling good' and 'feeling bad', but you really can keep it just that simple. When you are feeling bad you're veering off the path that would take you to what you want. And all you have to do to correct is to think of something--ANYTHING!--that will make you feel better. Couldn't be easier. Right?

Well, sometimes even the IDEA of thinking of something that will make you feel good seems like an impossibility, doesn't it? So don't reach for bliss.....that may be too far a stretch.....reach for relief. Good old fashioned relief. R-E-L-I-E-F. Just something that feels a little better, that's all. Keep that up and soon you will be right back on the right track.

I'll be writing more about this amazing IG of yours and how to best use it. But for now just remember to ask yourself 'how am I feeling?' and let your IG give you the correction you need to move toward your heart's desire!

Wishing you JOY and LIGHT,
Jan